It's Been a While!

A lot has happened since 2012. Last night I cooked some turnips, turnip greens, and collards that I grew myself. This pandemic has been stressful. I've coped by growing vegetables. A lot of vegetables.

I'm going to try to continue this blog with a change of theme. I believe it's time to show off my chaotic gardening skills. So, hopefully, I'll get some videos and pictures and descriptions of how I just throw stuff in dirt and deal with it. With the world the way it is, someone needs to light the path to embracing the chaos. Peace.

Richard's Collards

I had never cooked collard greens for Richard. I figured that he was from Chicago, so it would be a waste of my time. Collards, and all greens, are an acquired taste. And you have to know just how to mash them together on the plate with your peas, green tomato relish, and cornbread to get them just right. To me, eating collards is almost a mystical experience--it is certainly an emotional experience. I was not surprised at all to find that writer Dorothy Allison devoted an entire chapter to the wonder of eating greens, and the sadness of not being able to find them in northern grocery stores.
Canned greens won't do. I don't know what those people are doing to their greens before they go in the can, but it is a tragedy. Canned peas are okay. Canned cabbage is fine (unnecessary, I mean, how long does it take to cook a cabbage!?!). But canned greens--it's just homemade sin in a can.
The other challenge for us to cook collards is that Richard is a vegetarian. Collards, of course, is a dish that starts with frying a slab of bacon. In the south, collards is hardly vegetarian. I wasn't sure that I could cook collards, for a northern palate, without the softening flavor of bacon and bacon grease.
All of that changed when I sent Richard to the store to get our iguana, Fred, some turnip greens. Fred's staple was turnip greens, and we were out. Richard agreed to make the trip, and he returned with a sack full of collards. When I explained how to tell the difference, Richard just shook his head in confusion. Fred didn't eat collards. So I cooked them for Richard.
The result was LOVE. Richard really enjoyed the flavorful greens, even without the traditional bacon assist. So, here's my recipe for Richard's Collards.
1. Buy some collards and bring them home.

2. Remove the leafy part from the tough spine. My grandma taught me this, and it does make for a better batch of collards. You can see here to the left my processing area (my kitchen is small, so there is a lot of junk around). I take the raw collard leaf from the bag, rip the soft leaf from each side of the spine, put the leaves in the collander, and put the spines in a plate to throw away.

3. Wash the leaves thoroughly. It's important to check for dirt and critters in the leaves.

4. Put your largest pot up on the stove. Add 2 tbsp of vegetable oil and turn the heat up to medium-high. While the oil is heating, chop up a large onion (purple is best, but any onion will do). If you have it, chop up some green pepper, and any other mild peppers you might have. I like to throw a frozen bag of pepper mix into the oil.

5. Cook the peppers and onions until they are heated up, and you are pretty sure your oil has a nice peppery-oniony taste to it. While the peppers and onions are cooking, shred the collards with your hands like you would lettuce for a salad. Just so the pieces are closer to bite size.

6. When the peppers and onions are done, add four cups of water and 6-8 cups of collards. Set the stove burner to medium heat. You will see that you have lots more collards than water. That's okay. They will cook down really, really fast. If you need more water, wait 30 minutes before adding it just to make sure your collards don't cook down before you need it.

7. Add a tbsp. of salt and 2 tbsp. of sugar. Stir and cook uncovered 2-6 hours until your collards are tender enough to eat. You may have to add salt and/or sugar to taste. You can cook a lot ahead. They freeze very well.

TIPS: Greens are bitter, so sugar is necessary to cook them (unless you are really into bitter food). In your onion-frying step, you can add fresh cherries to sweeten the oil, and then the greens. Greens are also awesome topped with mangoes. I never eat greens without sweet tomato relish. McCutcheon's brand Tennessee Chow Chow is the jar that tastes most like my mom's relish. You can find it in the pickle aisle at most stores.

NUTRITION INFO: Even with the grease and sugar, greens are very, very good for you. They are high in vitamins A and C, and they even have protein, calcium, and fiber. They are low in carbs and calories. They will "clean out your blood" as my Mamaw says. So, eat your greens!

Pizzas I've Known

I can't remember any conversation where someone announced, "I don't like pizza." Pizza has such variety that it would be hard for a person to say he or she has never found a pizza to please. After all, aside from the traditional bread crust, tomato sauce, parmesan variety, there is also taco pizza with a corn meal crust, refried bean spread, and taco toppings. Or one could choose the cookie pizza with a sweet crust and cookie dough topping. I've even heard of an "American pizza" served in England that had a dressing (as in turkey and dressing) sauce and turkey and cranberry toppings. I remember being in India and driving into a small town with my American fellow travelers and spotting a Pizza Hut. Apparently everyone but me was sick of Indian food. We checked into our hotel, put our bags down, and made a beeline for Pizza Hut. I can say some of my fellow travelers achieved nirvana in that Pizza Hut.

My first pizza, I'm quite sure, was a frozen, cardboard-like thing. But soon after that, my Mamaw Koon bought a Chef Boyardee pizza-making kit for my brother and me to make pizza with her. Making those cheese pizzas with Mamaw Koon were some of the best times of my childhood. I remember my brother Thomas and I puzzling over the packaged ingredients and testing out the grated parmesan that came in the box. I remember following the directions with Mamaw, and then rolling out the dough on a baking sheet. Once we got it in the oven, we all drank Dr. Peppers and waited forever until our pizza was done. The results always confirmed that we were definitely gifted pizza chefs. Even now, 20 years later, my Mamaw Koon will smile and say "Remember when we used to make those pizzas, you and Thomas and me?" and I'll smile, too, and say, "Yeah, they sure were good."

Living close to Atlanta means pizza delivery options are plentiful, and Richard and I enjoyed it a lot. But with the pinch of the recession, being the smart folks we are, we quickly realized that $15 for a delivery pizza vs. $6 for a pizza from the supermarket freezer, well, the math showed the path. But even though those frozen pizzas were a far cry from the first pizza I ever had--frozen pizza quality can be quite high these days--frozen just isn't as good as delivery. And that's when I got to thinking, how can I have cheap AND wonderful?

The answer, of course, is make it myself. So here are some ideas about how to make a good, homemade pizza on a budget.

If you have a breadmaker, the best thick crust comes from throwing a box of bread dough into the breadmaker and letting it mix and rise. Then, roll it out for pizza crust. But you don't need a breadmaker. In my pursuit of great homemade pizza, I've also mixed up my own crust, and it's easy enough, but storebought is easier. I've tried the Pilsbury pizza crust, and it is fine, but the best thin crust is the Martha White crust mix. It's cheap, too.

I do make my own pizza sauce just because it's just as easy as opening up a jar, and it has far fewer calories. For that, in a small sauce pan I mix a small can of tomato paste with 2 cans of water. I add an inch squirt of Gourmet Garden brand Italian herbs. (If you are not familiar with this product, it usually lives in the vegetable section of the grocery store. It's a tube of chopped herbs that squirts out like toothpaste, and it comes in several varieties, including parsley, ginger, garlic, and Italian herbs. I keep them in the freezer, and they last forever--very cost effective and practical stuff.) I also add a tablespoon of sugar. I stir it around until it is warm and mixed up. Voila! Pizza sauce. Now, for an even better pizza sauce, you can start your sauce by heating up 1 tablespoon of olive oil in the sauce pan and add chopped onions. Stir around on medium heat until the onions are translucent, then add the tomato paste, water, herbs and sugar. Voila! Gourmet pizza sauce!

So, to make a great and economical home made pizza, you will need

Martha White pizza crust mix

Sauce stuff:

1 small can tomato paste

1, 1 inch squirt of Gourmet Garden Italian herbs

1 tablespoon of sugar

Toppings:

Whatever you want, of course. You can add 1 cup of Boca crumbles to the sauce mix, above, for hamburger pizza (for you carnivores, you can add 1 cup of hamburger meat, already cooked). For pepperoni pizza, add Yves meatless pepperoni--yum! I also add peppers, broccoli, and tofu on occasion. That's the great thing about pizza. You add whatever!

Cheese:

Shred 1 cup of your favorite type of cheese to make your pizza. Richard likes parmesan. I eat Galaxy brand veggie shreds, a low cholesterol cheese substitute. (If you are into cheese substitutes, I highly recommend Follow Your Heart brand over Galaxy, but Galaxy is all that gets carried in our local grocery store, so that's usually what we have on hand.) I make a pizza with half real cheese and half fake.

Preheat your oven to 475. Follow the directions for mixing up the Martha White pizza crust. Then, a trick my Mamaw Koon taught me: in a bowl that you can cover (say, with a plate), put a teaspoon of olive oil. Put the mixed up dough in the bowl with the olive oil and then, turn it upside down (so it is coated in oil). Then put the plate or other cover on top and set it on top of the oven that is preheating. The dough will rise, but it won't be too sticky to roll out.

Next, if you have a pizza stone, put it in the oven to heat up. If you don't have a pizza stone, spray some nonstick cooking spray on your pizza pan (or the pan you intend to use for the pizza).

Start preparing your pizza sauce (see directions above). If you are topping your pizza with broccoli (or another vegetable that won't have time to bake nicely in the 15 minute pizza cooking time), then steam your broccoli. If you are using Boca crumbles, add them to your pizza sauce to warm them up. If you are using hamburger or bacon, then you need to cook it thoroughly before topping the pizza with it.

Once the dough has risen, you want to put it on your pan. If you have a regular pizza pan or baking sheet, just roll out the dough. A mini rolling pin is great for this task. There should be enough oil on the dough that it doesn't stick. After you've rolled it out, push the dough toward the edges so that the edges are a bit thicker than the middle. If you have a pizza stone, carefully remove it from the oven. Sprinkle cornmeal on it (I use Martha White's cornbread mix, which is not 100% cornmeal, but the self rising flour added in it gives the crust a salty "spark" that I like), and carefully roll out your pizza dough with a mini rolling pin. The stone is HOT, so be very, very careful not to touch it. The crust will start to cook on the stone as you roll out the dough. That's okay, but don't dawdle.

If you have garlic on hand, you can crush it (or open the jar, or squirt some Garden Gourmet garlic paste) and rub it around on the crust at this point for extra garlic crust. If you are a big fan of the reverse liposuction delight called stuffed crust, you can roll mozarella sticks (or sticks of butter, whatever floats your boat) into the crust edges at this point, too.

Put the crust in the oven for about 5 minutes, or until it turns slightly brown. This trick makes your crust nice and crispy. It also allows you to have a fully done crust without burned cheese.

Take the crust out when it's done and top with pizza sauce and your toppings. Finally, add the cheese and bake for 10 minutes or until the cheese melts. Lift up the crust, too, and make sure it is done.

Cost? For the basic dough, sauce, real cheese version, $4, if you already have the herbs on hand. And if you buy a block of store brand cheddar and shred your own cheese. And you will have pizza sauce left over, so if you buy an extra packet of dough mix, you can make two cheese pizzas for about $3 each and freeze the second one (already cut up, in a freezer bag), so you make your own frozen pizza that you can snack on by the slice.

Bon appetit!

Thanks for reading, and please share your own favorite pizza secrets, below.

What's Your Dog Eating?

Welcome to "In the Kitchen with Tammy," my new blog where I share what's going on in my kitchen today. In my past, I have made my own pet food, and I can share that it is time consuming, exhausting, and expensive. Also, I've researched, and vets by and large say good, quality commercial dog food is as good as or better than my cooking, when it comes to providing my pet with good nutrition. So today's blog is not about creating your own dog food.

But, last time I went to buy the dog food, I have to share that it is a great feeling to walk by all those overpriced dog treats, get the bags and cans I came for, and walk back out. It also saves a fortune. Plus, I fret over what's in those snacks. I don't want my babies ingesting plastic from China.

For peace of mind and a break on the pocketbook, I have found two dog snack recipes that keep my pups and me happy. I'm going to share the first one today.

Ingredients:
1 cup white flour, 2 cups whole wheat flour, 1/2 cup rolled oats, 1/4 cup chopped carrots, 1/4 cup sunflower seeds, 2 teaspoons baking powder, 1 1/2 cups milk, 1 cup peanut butter, 1/4 cup cream cheese, 1 tablespoon blackstrap molasses.

Mix the dry ingredients in a large bowl. Mix the rest in a food processor. Then mix the whole thing together. Roll it out (like sugar cookies), and cut into 1/4 inch thick dog snacks. I have bone shaped cookie cutters, but any shape is fine--the dogs don't care, of course. Bake your snacks on a cookie sheet (I spray mine with cooking spray) at 350 degrees F for 20 minutes. I've found that if you cut the oven off after that and leave the oven door open for a few hours, the cookies get as hard as the store bought dog snacks--if you have a bigger dog, he or she might prefer that.

Next, in the food processor, mix up 1/2 cup cream cheese and 1/2 cup peanut butter. Now, when the snacks are cool, you can make peanut butter filled cookies for your pup. Smear the peanut butter and cream cheese mixture on one cookie, top with another cookie, and call quality control to evaluate your work.

But here is the REAL secret. Make 8 BIG snacks--like five inches across snacks. Fill them with the peanut butter/cream cheese mixture to make snack sandwiches, and freeze. When your pup wants/needs/deserves a big snack or rawhide chew, pull out the frozen snack sandwich. Dogs love the icy snack. They love the way it melts as they chew. It's really satisfying, and they won't choke on it. It will occupy them and satisfy them, and you know exactly what's in it. And in our house, a batch costs about $6 to make (because peanut butter is quite expensive). I put all the cookies in the freezer, even the small ones, to ensure they keep well and to give the pups an icy treat.

When we have company, we put the dogs in a guest room and serve up the big snacks, we get SILENCE to enjoy our company. I guess the love you put in your cooking goes right through to the pups and comforts them.